"To waste more of your time, press star".

February 18, 2008

Is it really necessary for the voice mail services to tell us what to do after we're done leaving a message? How pointless and irritating is it to have to wait while an automated recording tells us "...when you've finished recording your message, please press # or just hang up"?

Just hang up? Really? Is that all I have to do? All this time I've just been telling people goodbye and staying on the phone afterwards for HOURS until I have to go to the bathroom, or American Idol comes on. What would I do without you, oh wondrous master of the telecommunications age? Your soothing voice lulls me into a place of security and comfort. The way in which you completely waste a full minute of my time EVERY time I have to leave a voicemail for someone all day long for years now leaves me with a sense of belonging and nourishment.

No.

At the very least, we don't need to hear it ever again. We get it. We can press #, or we can just hang up. We can press # or we can...just...hang...the...fuck...up. I can hang up? Really? Thank you for that informative piece of information about our modern correspondence sytem. 

And why the hell would I press #, if I can just hang up? What would be the purpose of me pressing # instead? So I can practice my digits pressing digits execution? How about I press # and then hang up? You know, just to be more thorough.

We've been hearing these completely unnecessary instructions for the past decade. Can we PLEASE move on now?

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Labels: answering machine, cell phone, comedy, humor, mobile, voice mail