Facebook: Yet another way to talk about your kid.
I have seriously HAD it with Facebook being used as a place where people show nothing but pictures of their children and not one photo of themselves. YOU asked me to be YOUR friend; NOT your kids friend. Where it says “profile” photo, there should be a photo or image that represents YOU not your kid. It’s not your kid’s facebook. If you want to put up a special twisted facebook page for your child (who isn’t even old enough yet to say “you’re an idiot”) then by all means.
Something I really hate; people from my past who ask me to be their friend on Facebook who have nothing but photos of their children on their page. The main reason I’m accepting you as my friend is because I want to see what you look like now after all these years (I probably don’t even want to be your friend, because chances are we have very little in common by now. Especially if you have kids.) It’s NOT because I want to see your kid on the merry-go-round; your kid stupidly sitting on your boring, fenced in, suburban back yard; your kid shitting for the first time in the big people’s potty; a second by second series of lame ass photos in the surroundings of your lame ass life with your kid doing fuck all while you think it’s the greatest thing you’ve ever taken a picture of.
News Flash: No one but your immediate family and a few close friends gives a shit about your kid.
I got on Facebook to keep in touch with my friends; not their ugly, dirty, boring, kids.
Yes, your kid is VERY special. Yes, your kid is one in a million. Yes, your kid is absolutely fascinating. Yes, I have learned to detest your kid in 3 seconds flat before I’ve even met your kid.
I don’t mind you having some photos of your kids in the photo section, that’s understandable. We all take pride in our accomplishments and current interests in life, but your kid is not the only thing that defines you. Your kid is NOT the sum total of everything that makes you matter.
I love kids (though have no interest currently in having one), but one thing that really puts me off about some people who have kids is the fact that it’s ALL they talk about, as if they don’t even exist anymore except to be witness to the amazing one of kind experience of raising their kid.
“It’s different when you have one of your own”.
If I hear that quote one more time, from one more meat head parent who thinks they are the first to either tell me it, or think it; I’m going to shove their stupid (insert baby or child’s plastic thing-a-mabob covered in creepy, mucous and milk spit up here) right in their stupid, shit eating, know-it-all grin.
The condescension from some of these morons for NOT having a kid and plastering it’s stupid mug all over facebook is staggering sometimes.
Finally, if your kid is the only thing in your life that you have to talk about, then save yourself some time and effort and leave me out of your friends list in Facebook, or your life completely, because you are seriously a boring individual and the only person who gives a damn about you is…surprise…YOUR KID.